What WE Thought of the Twilight Movie
by Fuzzy Lumpkin
Summary: Twilight movie scenes with commentary. Idea taken from ALISON.PLOWY.STALTSON.JACOBY. Co-written with REINO-CULLEN.
1. The Hardly Existent Meadow Scene

**Bella: You're impossibly fast, and strong. Your skin is pale white and ice cold. You're eyes change color and sometimes you speak like you're from a different time. You never eat or drink anything. You don't go out in the sunlight....How old are you?**

Laura: God that's a lot of things. Can't he be normal (as in human) in SOME WAY?

Brooke: No, that defeats the point.

**Edward: Seventeen.**

**Bella: And how long have you been 17?**

**Edward: A while.**

Brooke: How long is a while?

Laura: Uh, a few months?

**Bella: *breathes loudly for a long time* I know what you are.**

Laura: Great, so do I.

**Edward: Say it. Out loud. **_**Say**__**it**_**.**

Laura: Sheesh, he's pushy.

Brooke: *shoves Laura* What? He's not pushy!

**Bella: Vampire.**

**Edward: Are you afraid?**

Laura: Of you? Pshaw. No way!

Brooke: I hate you Robert Pattinson!

**Bella: No.**

**Edward: Then ask me the most basic question: what do we eat?**

Laura: You don't eat, you creep. You _drink. _And not vodka either.

Brooke: I eat French fries.

**Bella: You won't hurt me.**

**(grabs her arm)**

**Bella: Where are we going?**

Laura: Why do you have to know everything, Bella?

Brooke: It's none of your business.

**Edward: Up the mountain, out of the cloudbank. You need to see what I look like in the sunlight.**

Laura: Ohhh. I'm excited

**(throws her on back, ZOOM)**

**Edward: This is why we don't show ourselves in sunlight. People would know we're different.**

**(sparkles)**

Brooke: Ahhhh! I'm blind.

Laura: Good for you, Eddie. I'm different, and proud of it. Btw, when I say "different" I mean "abnormal."

Brooke: I AM THE MOST NORMAL OF ALL OF YOU!

Laura: Good for you. Wait- there's only two of us.

**Edward: This is what I am.**

**Bella: It's like diamonds. You're beautiful.**

Laura: Nice. Really subtle.

Brooke: I think its more like pouring a whole tub of craft glitter on him. BTW you use that word wayyyyy too much.

Laura: What word?

Brooke: The "s" word.

Laura: Oh. You mean shi--

Brooke: No! Not _that _word. I meant the other "s" word. Subtle.

Laura: I do not!

Brooke: Can we get back to the movie now?

**Edward: Beautiful—this is the skin of a killer. I'm a killer.**

**Bella: I don't believe that.**

Brooke: Neither do I.

Laura: I do!

Brooke: Nobody cares about you.

Laura: *sniffle*

Brooke: Hi Jasper!

**Edward: Because you believe a lie, it's a camouflage. I'm the world's most dangerous predator. Everything about me invites you in—my voice, my face, even my smell. As if I would need any of that.**

Laura: He's modest, no?

**(ZOOM)**

**Edward: AS IF YOU COULD OUTRUN ME!**

Brooke: No need to shout...

**(ZOOM part deux)**

**Edward: As if you could fight me off. **

**(throws tree)**

**Edward: I'm designed to kill.**

**Bella: I don't care.**

**Edward: I've killed people before.**

Laura: Great, so have I! Well, not _people_, but like bugs. Does that count?

Brooke: No.

**Bella:** **It doesn't matter.**

**Edward: I wanted to kill you, I've never wanted a human's blood so much in my life.**

**Bella: I trust you.**

**Edward: Don't.**

**Bella: I'm here. I trust you.**

**(ZOOM)**

**Edward: My family, we're different from others of our kind. We only hunt animals. We've learned to control our thirst. And it's you, your scent; it's like a drug to me. You're like my own personal brand of heroin.**

Laura: OME! Edward's a DRUG ADDICT! I always thought he was against that sort of stuff.

Brooke: Yummy yummy!

**(ZOOM)**

**Bella: Why did you hate me so much when we met?**

**Edward: I did. Only from me wanting you so badly. I don't know if I can control myself.**

**Bella: I know you can.**

**Edward: I can't read your mind. You have to tell me what you're thinking.**

**Bella: Now I'm afraid.**

**Edward: Good.**

**Bella: I'm not afraid of you. I'm only afraid of losing you. That you're going to disappear.**

**Edward: You don't know how long I've been waiting for you....And so the lion fell in love in love with the lamb.**

**Bella: What a stupid lamb.**

**Edward: What a sick, masochistic lion.**

Brooke: ROAR!

Laura: That is animal abuse in the form of mockery.

Brooke: What? I want to pet his hair. I still don't like him though.

Laura: The lion's hair?

Brooke: No. RPattz.

**(staring contest between Edward and Bella!)**

Laura: I'm going to win!

**(*sparkly!*)**

Laura: Edward could open up his shirt a little bit to show more sparkles. I wouldn't mind the reason, so long as he does it. I doubt Bella would either...

Brooke: Um... aren't you Team Jacob? And I wouldn't mind either. If it was the real Edward and not Robert Pattinson who I hate so much and I won't stop talking about how much I hate him and now this is a run on sentence so yeah. I don't like him.

Laura: OKAY we get you don't like him. And yes, I am on Jake's team. I'm deciding right now between two responses.

One: I can still like Edward, and

Two: Oh yeah! Oops, my bad.

**(back in Bella's room)**

**Bella: About three things I was absolutely positive: 1****st****, Edward was a vampire. 2****nd****, there was a part of him, and I didn't know how dominant that part might be, that thirsted for my blood. And 3****rd****, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.**

Laura: AHHH! Big words.

Brooke: About three things I was absolutely positive:

One, My friends are extremely strange. (Laura: No DUH!)

Two, French Fries are quite good.

Three: I REALLY wish I was a vampire.


	2. The Cullen Family Home!

**Bella: Oh. This is incredible. It's so light and open you know? **

Laura: Yes he knows, he lives there.

**Edward: What did you expect? Coffins and dungeons and moats?**

Brooke: With crocodiles?

**Bella: No. Not the moats.**

**Edward: Not the moats. This is the one place we don't have to hide. I told them not to do this.**

_**Cooking guy on TV talks.**_

**Rosalie: Is she even Italian?**

Brooke: No, she's Japanese!

Laura: No, you idiot. She's from Washington.

**Emmett: Her name is Bella.**

**Carlisle: I'm sure she'll love it no matter what.**

Brooke: OMC its Carlisle! I heart u Carlisle. You should be British though.

Laura: Carlisle is the one that sounds Italian.

**Rosalie: Ooh. Get away from that.**

Brooke: Get away from what?

**Esme: Here comes the human. Bella, we're making **_**italiano**_** for you.**

**Bella: Oh. Yum.**

Brooke: Heroin's better.

Laura: DRUG ADDICT!

**Edward: Bella, Esme is my mother for all intensive purposes.**

Laura: Of course we know what that means! (whispers to Brooke) What does that mean?

Brooke: IDK

Laura: Ha! You don't know what that means.

_**Emmett waves with knife in hand.**_

Laura: Nice Emmett.

Brooke: That's not scary at all.

**Carlisle: We're using you as an excuse to use the kitchen for the first time.**

Laura: Excuses, excuses.

**Esme: I hope you're hungry.**

Laura: What if she's not?

**Bella: Um… yeah**

**Edward: She already ate.**

_**Rosalie smashes salad bowl.**_

Laura: Anger issues!

Brooke: She'd be a perfect match for Jacob!

Laura: Don't mock Jacob. He's friggin' awesome.

**Rosalie: Perfect.**

**Bella: Yeah. It's just that I know you guys don't eat so… of course.**

**Esme: It's very considerate of you.**

Laura: She's just saying that.

**Edward: Just ignore Rosalie. I do.**

Brooke: That's nice.

Laura: I know, right.

**Rosalie: yeah. Let's just keep pretending like this isn't dangerous for all of us.**

**Bella: I would never tell anybody anything.**

**Carlisle: She knows that.**

Laura: She's not a dummie!

**Emmett: Yeah well the problem is you two have gone public now.**

Brooke: Suh-weet! High five Emmett! (high-five) Owww…..

Laura: Just nice Brooke. Real, real nice.

**Rosalie: No, she should know. The entire family will be implicated if this ends badly.**

**Bella: Badly as in, I would become the meal?**

***Laughs**** from whole family***

Brooke: LOL!

Laura: That is not funny. Although I don't like Kristen Stewart, I do like Bella. And I would greatly appreciate it if you didn't eat her.

Brooke: Cannibalism is bad. Not to mention ILLEGAL!

**Alice: Hi Bella.**

***Jumps off tree***

**Alice: I'm Alice.**

**B: Umm hi.**

***hug***

Brooke: That's not odd, hugging someone when you formally meet them for the first time.

**Alice: Oh. You do smell good.**

Laura: Um…. Thank you?

**Edward: Alice, what are you—**

Laura: Silly Edward! Alice is a vampire just like you. (scruffs his hair like a little kid.)

RPattz in response to hair-scruffing: Yo, don't touch the hair! It was a million bucks!

Laura: Touchy, touchy.

RPattz: Don't touch me.

Brooke: I hate you.

**Alice: It's okay. Bella and I are going to be great friends.**

Laura: Well, she would know.

**Carlisle: Sorry. Jasper's our newest "vegetarian". It a little difficult for him.**

Brooke and Laura: HE'S IN PAIN!!!!!!!

Laura: Like I care.

Brooke: Meanie-poo

**Jasper: It a pleasure to meet you.**

Laura: No its not.

**Alice: It's okay jasper. You won't hurt her.**

**Edward: Alright. Uh. I'm gonna take you one a tour of the rest of the house. **

**Alice: Well I'll see you soon.**

Laura: She would know.

**Bella: Okay.**

**Esme: Cute.**

***Alice smiles really big***

**Carlisle: I think that went well.**

**Bella: Graduation caps?**

**Edward: Uh yeah. It's a private joke. We circulate a lot. **

Brooke: I still don't think that's the right word.

Laura: good for you. Nobody cares.

**Bella: That's kind of miserable.**

Brooke: lol

Laura: I know something else that's miserable!

Brooke: What?

Laura: JASPER! And my life.

**Bella: Repeating high school, over and over.**

Brooke: ...and over and over and over and over and over…

**Edward: Sure but the younger we start out in a new place the longer we can stay there. Come on. Uh…yeah this is my room.**

**Bella: No bed?**

Brooke: He doesn't sleep, dummo!

Laura: I wonder, do Rose and Emmett have a bed in their room? You know what, I don't really want to know.

Brooke: Neither do our fabulous readers.

Laura: We don't have any fabulous readers.

Brooke: We will.

Laura: You wish.

**Edward: Um, yeah, I don't sleep.**

**Bella: Ever?**

Brooke: No means no!

**Edward: No, not at all.**

**Bella: Uh, okay. Wow, you have SO much music. What are you listening to?**

**Edward: It's uh Debussy. Um.**

**Bella: Clair de Lune is great.**

Brooke: Ew classical.

**(RANDOM DANCING)**

**Edward: What**

**Bella: I can't dance.**

Brooke: HSM!

Laura: I don't dance—

Brooke: I know you can—

Laura: Not a chance—

Brooke. Let's stop.

**Edward: Hmmmm. Well I could always make you.**

**Bella: I'm not scared of you**

**Edward: You really shouldn't have said that.**

**(FLYING)**

**Edward: You better hold on tight spider monkey**

Laura: That's a stupid name

Brooke: (for Sarah) YOURE A STUPID NICKNAME!

(giggles and climbs up tree)

**Edward: Do you trust me?**

Laura: Trust: they over use that line SO much.

**Bella: In theory.**

**Edward: Then close your eyes**

**(FLYING!)**

Brooke: How are they flying?

Laura: (perkily) Well, Brooke, they're not. He's strapped into a harness that's pulling them up the tree. Then, using CGI (computer generated images)—

Brooke: I'm bored. Stop. And that was extremely corny and out of character.

**(SITTING IN A TREE)**

Laura: Bella and Edward sitting in a tree. K. I. S. S. I. N. G.

Brooke: I would have fallen out of the tree by now.

**(bella gasps)**

Brooke: Le gasp!

**Edward: What?**

**Bella: This isn't real!**

Laura: It's a movie. Of course it's not real.

**Bella: This kind of stuff just doesn't exist.**

Brooke: Well neither do vampires, yet you're sitting right next to one!

**Edward: It does in my world.**

Brooke: Can I come to your world?

Laura: Me too!


	3. Take Me Out To The Ball Game

**A/N: Okay, the following chapter might be screwed up in many ways for the following reasons: 1: I was very tired, so there will be lots of typos. 2: the site we usually use to get the script is down, so we had to use a video on Youtube somebody took with their phone that wasn't so great, and it was hard to tell what was said. Blah, excuses, excuses, excuses. Okay, so watch Twilight High School Musical and The Twilight Puppet Pals Saga. Yeah, what else did I want to say? Um yeah. So read now, and enjoy.**

**Bella: Since when do vampires like baseball?**

**Edward: Well, it's the American past time and ah there's a thunderstorm coming, it's the only time we can play, you'll see why.**

**(WATERFALL)**

**(JEEP)**

**(ROSALIE/EMMETT HAND BASEBALL BAT THING)**

**Bella: Hi.**

**Esme: Glad you're here, we need an umpire.**

Brooke: and you're vampires!

**Emmett: She thinks we cheat.**

**Esme: Oh, I know you cheat.**

**Esme: Call 'em as you see 'em Bella.**

**Bella: Okay.**

**(awesome song, supermassive black hole. Brooke's fave song of the week)**

**(quick shots of baseball field, etc.)**

**(Emmett does weird kick/punch thing)**

Laura: NINJA EMMETT!

**(lightning)**

**Alice: It's time.**

Laura: Duh nu nu...

Brooke: And we're here watching vampire baseball on this lovely, rainy afternoon.

(crowd cheers)

Brooke: Rosalie's up to bat.

Laura: Here's the windup and the pitch…

Brooke: Don't forget the weird leg thing Alice doe. It must be some good luck charm. Hmm. I'll ponder that later.

Laura: *snorts* "ponder"

**(BOOM!)**

Brooke: Ohh, that look's like a tough hit. It'll be hard for any human to catch that. But they have Edward! Da da da!

Bella;' Okay now I see why you need thunder.

Brooke: Whi-zhoom!

Laura: God, you're a freak. Who says "Whi-zhoom"?

Brooke: I do. You don't. Duh, you're a loosah!

Laura: *snorts*

Laura: Carlisle and Rosalie race around the bases, so fast I can barely see them. The ball goes flying into the trees. It's doesn't look like we'll be getting it back anytime soon…

**Bella: That's gotta be a home run, right?**

**Esme: Edward's very fast.**

Laura: WE all knew that, didn't we?

(crowd cheers louder)

Brooke: Ch-yeah.

Laura: Stop making up words. I feel so old-fashioned.

**(Jasper does flippy thing with bat.)**

Brooke: Edward races through the forest, grabs the ball, throws to Esme—

**Bella: You're out.**

**(Rosalie and Bella had glaring competition)**

Laura: Ooh, Bella's getting the death glare. I'm SO scared.

Brooke: HEY! Death glare is my phrase. Do you want me to punch you?

Laura: umm... not particularly. And then you'd be stuck with Sarah and Ali all by yourself.

Brooke: You say that like it's a bad thing.

Laura: *death glare*

**Emmett: Out! WOO!**

Laura: He's so supportive of his own wife.

Brooke: I'll say.

Laura: And I'll say that's stupid.

Brooke: That's what sports people say. I'm trying to be authentic.

Laura: Not succeeding.

Brooke: -death glare-

**Emmett: Babe, c'mon, it's just a game.**

Laura: Still, nice Emmett.

Brooke: Ohh he called me babe.

**Carlisle: Nice kitty.**

Brooke: I'll say!

Laura: AHHH!

Brooke: And the pitch—Carlisle hits it

Laura: You have to admit, he's a pretty cool dad. I mean, MY dad would never play baseball with me like in a million years. But my family doesn't like baseball.

Brooke: I'll say! Wait a minute. I only mean that for the pretty cool dad part.

Laura: Who cares?

Brooke: And the jump…

Laura: And the smack…

Brooke: OMEE! Edward and Emmett crashed into each other for a catch!

Laura: But neither of them caught it…

Brooke: What a shame, what a shame.

(everybody go awwww, and BOOOs!)

Laura: Carlisle slides home!

Brooke: Yay!

**(eddie and emmie fall from the sky)**

Laura: It's raining men, hallelujah; it's raining men, AMEN!

Brooke: You're SO off key.

**Edward: What are you doing?**

**(jasper does flippy thing with bat part dos) **

Laura: Here's the leg,

Brooke: And then the pitch!

**(jasper hits it)**

**(Emmett climbs up tree, and catches ball, throws it back)**

Laura: NINJA EMMETT!

**Rosalie: My monkey man.**

Laura: What's with this family and monkeys? First spider monkey, now this?

Brooke: THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH MONKEYS!

Laura: Jeez, you sound like Ali.

Alice: Stop!

**(awesome and evil guitar riff)**

**(Laurent, Victoria and James stroll into the clearing evilly)**

**(Cullens gather zoomily)**

**Alice: They were leaving, then they heard us.**

Brooke: Looks like the games over, folks.

**Edward: Let's go.**

Laura: Too late.

**Carlisle: Too late.**

**Edward: Get your hair down.**

Brooke: Like, no way, it cost WAY too much time and money to buy this hair!

**Rosalie: Like that'll help, I could smell her across the field.**

**Edward: I shouldn't have brought you here. I'm so sorry.**

Laura: What?

Bella: What?

**Edward: Just keep quiet and stand behind me.**

Brooke: pushy.

Laura: (shoves Brooke) Who's pushy? He's not pushy!

Brooke: Whi-zhoom!

**Laurent: I believe this belongs to you.**

**Carlisle: Thank you**

Brooke: Now go away.

Laura: He's always so polite.

**Laurent: I'm Laurent.**

Brooke: Like Laura, ending with the British pronunciation of "aunt".

**Laurent: This is Victoria, and this is James.**

Brooke: My prized possession.

Laura: Stalker.

**Carlisle: I'm Carlisle, and this is my family.**

Laura: We are family, I got all my siblings with me!

Brooke: Again, way off key.

Laura: -snarls-

Brooke: Oh no you didn'tttttttt.

**Laurent: Hello.**

Laura: What up?

**Carlisle: We're afraid your hunting activities have caused something of a mess for us.**

Laura: He's so polite.

Brooke: He's Carlisle.

Laura: You point?

Brooke: -rolls eyes-

**Laurent: Our apologies. We didn't realize the territory had been claimed.**

**Carlisle: Yeah, well. We maintain a permanent residence near by. **

**Laurent: Really? **

Laura: yes, really

**(James cocks head)**

**Laurent: Well, we won't be a problem anymore. We were just passing through.**

Brooke: Sure you were.

Laura: I believe him.

Brooke: How can you believe the bad guy?

Laura: Because I'm the bad guy MWAHAHAHAHA!

Brooke: Le gasp!

**Victoria: The humans were tracking us, but we lead them east. –whispers- You should be** **safe.**

Laura: SHE SPEAKS!

Brooke: And, apparently, that's her power (look on Wikipedia if you don't believe me).

**Carlisle: Excellent.**

**Laurent: So. Could you use three more players?**

Brooke and Laura: NO!

**Laurent: Oh come on. Just one game.**

**Carlisle: Sure. Why not? A few of us were leaving, you could take their place. We'll bat** **first.**

Laura, Brooke, and **Victoria: I'm the one with the wicked curve ball**.

Laura: She _is_ wicked.

Brooke: MY DIBS!

Brooke: And we're the ones who don't really care. I mean, it's not very hard to recognize you.

**Jasper: Oh well I think we can handle that.**

Laura and Brooke: HE SPEAKS!

Laura: He sounds like he's from Texas.

Brooke: He is from Texas.

Laura: -yells- OH YEAH!

**Laurent: OH!**

**(staring contest between Edward and Bella and James)**

Laura: I'm gonna win!

**(wind blows)**

**(James does weird head inhaley thingy)**

Laura, Brooke, and **James: Ah; you brought a snack.**

Laura: Not my candy bar (watch Twilight parody on youtube)

Brooke: Yum1 popcorn. –takes some of Laura's-

Laura: What part of "my snack" do you not understand

Brooke: The my part.

**(crouching)**

**(growling)**

**James: Is that a human?**

Laura: No, you idiot, it's a werewolf.

Brooke: Say a frog, that's cooler.

Laura: Werewolf!

Brooke: Frog!

Laura: Werewolf!

Brooke: Frog!

Laura: Werewolf!

Brooke: Frog!

Laura: Werewolf!

Brooke: Frog!

Laura: Werewolf!

Brooke: Frog!

Laura: Werewolf!

Brooke: Frog!

Laura: Werewolf!

Brooke: Hermione! (potter puppet pals reference)

**Carlisle: The girl's with us.**

Laura: She has a name.

**Carlisle: Now get back if you wan to leave.**

**Laurent: I can see the game is over.**

Laura: It hadn't even started.

**Laurent: We go now.**

**(more growling)**

**Laurent: James.**

**(awesome and evil-sounding guitar riff)**

**(James hisses)**


	4. Dinner for Two

**Here you go! I'm in a very good mood right now, because they put the movie back up on the sight we watched it on! Hooray! This is the scene where Bella almost gets attacked, then goes to the restaurant with Eddie. N-Joy!**

**Evil Dude 1: Saw you in the dress store.**

**Evil Dude 2: Hey where you running to?**

**(chatter between evil dudes)**

**Bella: Don't touch me.**

**(Edward zooms in from around the corner)**

Brooke: Cue theme music!

Laura: Dun duh nuh NUH!

**Edward: Get in the car.**

Brooke: What if I don't want to?

Laura: He's so pushy

Brooke: (shoves Laura) What? He's not pushy

**Evil Dude 1: That was a very dangerous move.**

**(Edward gives him the death glare)**

**(zoom away)**

**Edward: I should go back there and rip those guys heads off.**

Brooke: Yay!

Laura: Violent!

**Bella: No you shouldn't**

**Edward: You don't know the vile repulsive things they were thinking.**

Laura: And do I want to know?

**Bella: And you do?**

Brooke: Chyeah he does!

**Edward: That's not hard to get.**

**Edward: Can you talk about something else? Distract me so I won't turn around.**

Laura: I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves…

**Bella: You should put your seatbelt on.**

**Edward: Hehe. You should put your seatbelt on.**

Brooke: He has a retarded laugh because HE'S RETARDED!

Laura: Edward doesn't say hehe! He's a guy!

**(zoom to the restaurant)**

**Bella: Hey, you guys, I'm sorry. It's just…**

Laura: It's just what? That you were about to get raped by some evil dude and your creep of a sort-of-human-abut-not-really maybe/maybe not boyfriend came out of nowhere and poofed you off to Fairyland! Wait—did you actually ask me to repeat that?!?!?!

**Angela: Where were you? We left you messages.**

**Jessica: Yeah we waited, but we were, like, starving.**

Brooke: Omg, like, really?

Laura: She was starving and Edward was thirsty.

**Edward: Uh I'm sorry I kept Bella from dinner. We just ran into each other and got talking.**

Brooke: Yeah, sure.

Laura: Sure, sure.

**Jessica: No. We totally understand. I mean, that happens right?**

Brooke: Chyeah it does.

**Angela: Um we were just leaving.**

Laura: Sure, sure.

**Jessica: Bella, you wanna—**

**Edward: I think I should make sure Bella gets something to eat, if you'd like. I'll drive you home myself.**

Laura: I just realized that Edward is a stalker!

Brooke: Le gasp!

**Angela: That's so thoughtful.**

**Jessica: Really, thoughtful.**

Brooke: Get a thesaurus.

Laura: God, Brooke, you're such a nerd!

Brooke: What was I supposed to say? Book with words that are like other words? BTW, you're a nerd too.

Laura: I know I'm a nerd. And yes, you should've said the longer explanation.

**Bella: Yeah, I should eat something.**

**Angela: So we'll…**

**Jessica: …see you tomorrow.**

**Bella: Okay**

**Waitress: Alright, one mushroom ravioli. (turns to Edward) So, um, are you sure there isn't anything I can get you.**

**Edward: No thank you.**

**Bella: Why won't you eat?**

**Edward: Nah, I'm on a special diet.**

Laura: Yeah, blood only.

Brooke: Scrumdidlyumptious!

**Edward: You gotta give me some answers.**

Brooke, Laura, and **Edward: Yes, no, to get to the other side, 1.77245**

**Bella: I don't want to know the square root of pi is.**

Brooke: I DON'T know what the square root of pi.

**Edward: You knew that?**

Laura: I didn't! –cries-

Brooke: Your name is Laurel.

**Bella: How did you know where I was?**

Laura: He's a stalker/pedophile.

Brooke: We've been over this before, LAUREL.

**Edward: I didn't.**

Laura: Just kidding…

**Bella: Alright (starts to leave)**

**Edward: Don't leave.**

**Bella: Did you follow me?**

Laura: STALKER!

**Edward: I feel very… protective of you.**

Brooke: That's not odd.

**Bella: So you followed me.**

Brooke: STALKER!

Laura: You stole my line!

Brooke: You say it all the time.

**Edward: I was trying to keep my distance unless you needed my help and then I heard what those… lowlifes were thinking.**

**Bella: Wait. You say you heard what they were thinking? What, you, you read minds.**

**Edward: I can read every mind in this room, apart from yours. Money, sex, money, sex, cat. And then you, nothing. It's very frustrating.**

Laura: You typed that in a way that it didn't seem relevant.

Brooke: Do you know what else is frustrating? You somehow being picked to play Edward!

Laura: You ever heard of a poker face? Cool it.

Brooke: Yet another reason why you're like Jacob.

Laura: For anybody out there who wants to here why else I am like Jacob, here is one thing: I AM SARCASTIC. that is the only thing!

**Bella: Is there something wrong with me?**

Brooke: Yes, there's something seriously wrong with your "fight or flight" reaction.

Laura: You should have run away screaming by now.

Brooke: So I would have room to flirt with Eddie. But not Robert Pattinson. The REEEEAAL Edward.

**Edward: I tell you I read minds, and you think there's something wrong with you?**

Laura: Clearly.

**Bella: Huh**

**Edward: Huh.**

Brooke: Huh.

Laura: Huh.

**Bella: What is it?**

**Edward: I don't have the strength to stay away from you any more.**

Laura: I thought he was super strong.

Brooke: Suck it.

Laura: Did you just steal Sarah's line?

Brooke: Chyeah. Besides, you do it all the time.

Laura: I'm special.

Brooke: Yeah. "special"

**Bella: You don't.**

**(zoom away in awesome Volvo)**

**Bella: Okay, I think I'm lonely now. (I have no idea what she said)**

**(hands touch)**

**Bella: Your hand is so cold.**

Laura: Congratulation, Captain obvious.

Brooke: But you are so hot.

**(pull up at police station. sirens are blaring)**

**Bella: What's going on? My dad's still there. Can you pull in?**

**Edward: That's my father's car in there. What is he doing here? (leave car, Carlisle leaves building). Carlisle what's going on?**

**Carlisle (eep!): Waylan Forge was out on his boat just last night. All that was found was the body.**

Brooke: He's only saying this aloud for Bella's sake.

Laura: His mind is screaming "VAMPIRE VAMPIRE VAMPIRE!"

**Bella: He died? How?**

**Carlisle: Animal attack.**

Laura: VAMPIRE VAMPIRE VAMPIRE.

**Bella: Was it the same one that got that security guard down in Masen?**

**Carlisle: Most likely.**

Laura: VAMPIRE VAMPIRE VAMPIRE.

Brooke: WEREWOLF WEREWOLF WEREWOLF!

**Bella: It's getting closer to town then.**

**Carlisle: Bella. You should go inside. Waylan was your father's friend.**

**Bella: Okay.**

**-SCENE-**

**You know, if you clicked that purple button down there and wrote some comments, there might –just might- be some virtual cookies waiting in your top right virtual dresser drawer…. Maybe you should try it out.**

**Brooke, the button is green now, not purple. anyway, ppls, read pandorasnotebook:**

**Based On True Events. it's sor of like this, but not really.**

**And if you haven't yet figured out that Laura is clearly Team Jacob and Brooke is clearly Team Edward, you're slow. but thaat's okay, I am too.**


End file.
